Far Cry 5 is now out in the wild, and the game definitely qualifies as more Far Cry. Luckily, being stupid makes everything more fun.
I've been playing a lot of Far Cry 5 over the past two weeks, and like most of these dumb columns, I originally planned to write up a long and meandering hodgepodge of impressions and jokes about the game. However, there's just one problem with that approach: Our Far Cry 5 reviewer and excellently named Jeff Cork summed up pretty much everything I was feeling about the game in his review. Even worse, he snuck a wickedly punny headline past Joe. So that's impressions and jokes! Considering we played almost the entire game together in co-op, it felt like quite the betrayal (don't worry, we're over it now).
Anyway, while I didn't care much for the can-you-believe-how-bad-I-am villains that are constantly monologuing at you or the pared down activities (if I can't craft my own XXL-sized wallet out of the skin of whatever animal I just shotgun-blasted in the face, I'm OUT), I still had a good amount of fun with Far Cry 5. It just wasn't scripted fun – Cork and I excelled at making our own hijinks-infused entertainment, which I captured via PS4's recording feature.
So, without further ado, here are 14 funny/surprising/patently stupid moments that perfectly encapsulate my time with Far Cry 5.
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The Unimpressed Fisherman
Ignore the terrifyingly glitchy semi-truck and Cork's horrid ATV skills – what really cracks me up in this clip is the reaction of our fishing friend. What has this guys seen is his life to not even bat an eye at our reckless display? Also, this clip pretty much sums up every road trip when Cork is behind the wheel.
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My Co-op Partner Is A Monster
Don't believe me about Cork? Consider this Evidence B. We both unwittingly jumped into the backseat of this poor civilian's sedan, only to have him start driving aimlessly across a bridge. I asked Cork if our driver was smart enough to drive to our destination, but we didn't get a chance to find out – instead Cork shot him pointblank with his shotgun, and then climbed over into the driver's seat. Fair enough. I got out and barely managed to get into the passenger's seat as he took off (I have a sneaking suspicion he was trying to ditch me) – only to watch him unapologetically run over our pet bear! What a monster!
From there the clip devolves into the standard action you'd expect from Far Cry, but I love how Cork still had a cheery enough attitude to honk the horn along to the music. Again: MONSTER.
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The Miracle Takeoff
Cork has a penchant for immediately crashing anything with four wheels, but two wheels and two wings is a completely different story. Turns out Cork is an amazingly adept pilot. Sure, his first attempted takeoff immediately sends us careening down the side of a cliff, but after that he manages to get airborne by driving up the side of a tree! Now that's an ace!
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Air Swimming
Another thing Cork is great at? Swimming through the air, apparently. At least I think that's what he's doing – after he bailed out of our helicopter, I watched him majestically paddle his way through the air and somehow stick the landing on the ground. Seriously, how did he do that?!
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Parachute Delay
This bad guy clearly doesn't have the same gravity-defying skills. I mean, I guess he has some kind of gravity-defying skills, but they don't work out in his favor. Christ almighty, indeed!
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Old Lady Kicking
Look, I can't condone all the things Cork and I did while playing Far Cry 5. But in my defense, this old lady looks really funny when she falls down. Also, she had a seriously negative attitude – even before we started kicking her! So yeah, maybe repeatedly kicking an old lady is rude, but in a way she started it. AND it's funny. Can you really blame us?
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Bad Day At HQ
Alright, there's no defending this one, really – Cork and I just decided on a whim to see how many NPC allies we could punch the crap out of. The one thing that's missing from the video, however, is Cork laughing maniacally over his headset at their constant screaming. It was good times.
I also like how quickly everyone gets over it at the end – a deadly cult has taken over the county, so let's just let bygones be bygones, eh?
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Stealth Shooting
Sure, you can equip silencers on your weapons – but what's more stealthy than invisible guns? Sadly the glitch only lasted a few minutes before triggering a quest made them appear again.
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Hold That Thought
The NPCs in Far Cry 5 can be unpredictable to say the least. So how do you make conversations appear fluid and realistic like in real life when something unintentional happens? I don't know, but this ain't it.
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That Was My Dog...
Other times NPCs are surprisingly disinterested in what's going on around them. Like this jerk quest giver. Where's PETA when you need them?!
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Ally Down
That disregard for life even extends to themselves sometimes! This one particularly had me cracking up, because the quest giver was in the middle of a painfully long story about an enemy named "The Cook," who burned his victims alive. Maybe you can't blame him for all the fire-related deaths in Hope County though...
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A Strange Encounter Pt. I
I don't even know what the heck was going on here, and I don't want to know!
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A Strange Encounter Pt. II
Thankfully, Cork was on hand to snap them out of it. In his own way.
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Far Cry 5's Most Exciting Side Mission!
And finally, I recorded the entirety of Far Cry 5's most exciting side mission! It tasks you with saving a bear named Cheeseburger from invading cultists. After tracking him down with Cork, I fed the captive bear a fish to unlock the next objective, but it unexpectedly locked me in place in return. Still, based on the gunshots, explosions, and banjo music, it certainly sounds like an exciting mission!
For more Far Cry 5 shenanigans, check out the archive of the Sick Stunts Livestream Bonanza that we did earlier this week. It's basically just two more hours of Cork and I blowing each other up in the name of shenanigans. That is the best part of Far Cry, after all!
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